
(photo via: Yahoo)
1. Be carried out by an “ancient Roman army”—an empire infamously known for being kind and courteous to foreigners

(photo via: Funny or Die)
2. Have a Richard Simmons doppleganger do weird stuff on a tightrope
(photo via: Fox News)
3. Get two younger artists more talented than you to perform, but only give them a minute each—also, make them wear cheerleader outfits because everyone knows that cheerleaders are virtually the UN Peacekeepers of American high school

(photo via: GQ)
4. Cee-Lo Green

(photo via: Best Week Ever)